The £25 million.

[Inspector Knacker]

Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity it offers, but two of the projects had me baffled.
First was the.....  're-imagining' (surely re-imaging) of the Middleton Grange shopping centre'.
Might I suggest relocating it to Lynn Street and going 'back to the future'.

Second was 'connectivity improvements to better link the Marina, town centre and railway station'.
What's this all about, didn't the last shower waste a fortune revamping the previously revamped? Why this lunatic obsession about linking to a train service that for most of the day spills out half a dozen passengers twice an hour...it's hardly a commuter belt line. There's not that far to walk anyway so why the fuss, Spen£ the money on something else.
The one good thing is the previous tenants of the Civic weren't still in charge....they'd probably have dug Church Street up again, erected giant statues, North Korean style of guess who and put fitted carpets on the breakwater...twice.

[Lucy Lass-Tick]

Ah yes ... those fitted carpets had to be exactly the right colour ...

[Inspector Knacker]

Ah yes ... those fitted carpets had to be exactly the right colour ...

They'd have probably splashed out to buy the red arrows and Ferris wheel as well. Mind you, imagine the conversation .....

Coun A..... " I've leased the Red Arrows for a year, so the municipal hot tub/leisure lounge will have to go back."

Coun B......"Aw.......well can we have a go and fly the planes like?"

Coun A ....." We'd better, the money it's cost...we're booked in for flying lessons"

Coun B....."Me...a Red Arrow pilot....gerrrin".

Coun A....." You can forget that, we're changing the name and colours to magnolia and cheeky pink.... that red clashes with nearly everything in my walk in wardrobe, so I'm considering pastel shades to complement my hair colour and what about calling us ....... 'The wind beneath your wings' display team for all our hard work for the people"

Coun B "Aw, by the way,  your Ferris wheel has been delivered on site and there's a problem it's only three feet tall and labelled as a ferret wheel....for ferrets..... seats six ferrets.

Coun  A....."The public will never notice, no one did when we got elected chortle, chortle".

[Lucy Lass-Tick]

Could the ferret wheel have been a fund raising device? The type you see at country shows where people bet on from which tube the first ferret might emerge?

[Inspector Knacker]

Could the ferret wheel have been a fund raising device? The type you see at country shows where people bet on from which tube the first ferret might emerge?

Ah, rats up drainpipe meet ferret out of orifice, my money's on the ferret every time.