Heartbeat through the letterbox.

[Inspector Knacker]

It came through the letterbox like a rat up a drainpipe, I finally cornered it and decided it was time for a laugh. It's a sort of local politics version of the Viz with unlikely characters but while they're not funny, their patter is hilarious.
The first few pages are like the opening shots of Saving Private Ryan with a veritable fusillade of photo opportunities of the Peroxide Prophet and Cranney basking in their own reflected glory, revealing to the electorate their unchallenged genius in reviving the town. Some of the support cast lower down the imperial pecking order appear also but nowhere near as frequently as the chosen ones.
Cranney caught my eye with his quote about tarting up Stockton Street.
"They will also very much strengthen the connection- between the Innovation and Skills Quarter and the rest of the town centre, helping to create a thriving route running right from the town centre down to what will be the redeveloped waterfront."
They are also going ahead with their plan to have a right turn into the multi story car park complete with traffic lights ...which looks about 60 metres away from the traffic lights at the Park Road junction, this should be fun.
The Dear Leader pops up on several pages like a jack in the box with a broken lid. Here's here, here's there, he's every bleedin where. Basking in the warm afterglow of his own reflected genius. There's two full pages of 'Christophers' achievements, a reading must. I await the film and series with bated breath, or maybe not.
We appear to live in a dynamic town with lots of ongoing projects whichever way you look, a veritable hive of activity.

Is there an election in the offing by any chance ?

[Heknocks68]

As a sign of the times we find ourselves "subjected" to. You must by now realise, that, ridding this town of hierarchy , from its apex down over (with all their declared involvements with other dealings) has about as much chance of fruition as the uk being a free state (from the Junka state) that which force failed to achieve, has and is, being well and truly achieved by stealth and the nations indigenous populace screwed well and truly over. We are allowed to exist, merely to fund their wealth. Bon soir, mon ami.

[Lucy Lass-Tick]

Almost wish I got the publication in question ... could do with free cat litter tray liners ...

[Owen Jones]

Your poor pussy

[mk1]

Almost wish I got the publication in question ... could do with free cat litter tray liners ...

That is what Hartlepool Life is for.  Its not as easy to get as it once was. Have they limited the print run?

[mk1]

The first few pages are like the opening shots of Saving Private Ryan with a veritable fusillade of photo opportunities of the Peroxide Prophet and Cranney basking in their own reflected glory...............

It jumps out at you. 6 photos of the  botox-damaged Dear Leader over 5 pages and bankruptcy-blighted  Cranney  features thrice.

[Inspector Knacker]

It's basically a brag rag.
'Look how good we are, this town is going places, it's on the up, everywhere you look it's busy, busy, busy as we spend, spend, spend on lots of ...stuff...  so don't forget to vote for for the people who brought you all this fab stuff as we are the only people who can do some road works and a bit of landscaping and even put in a zebra crossing and trumpet it as though we were re-designing Paris.'
In reality they're doing what other councils do everyday as part of ongoing works, no fuss just doing what they're paid to do. This lot would organise a photo shoot for the opening of a packet of crisps.

[Stig of the Seaton Dump]

I hope my copy arrives soon, I don't want to sacrifice a sock.

[kevplumb]

I hope my copy arrives soon, I don't want to sacrifice a sock.

[Inspector Knacker]

While making out his achievements in the 'Remarkable change is happening in Hartlepool' cloying self promoting article, The Dear Leader says..."....Hartlepool already has the fastest growth on housing in the Tees Valley at 9.7%." And...?

The one that really caught my eye was this..."I was delighted to recently approve a £588m Tees Valley Investment Plan....."
Further down the page he reveals Hartlepool will receive £42m of the total, (£20m of which will go on their waterfront development), so we're getting 7.1% of the budget?
Who was negotiating our share, the other four Council Leaders?

[jawsbbc]

The first few pages are like the opening shots of Saving Private Ryan with a veritable fusillade of photo opportunities of the Peroxide Prophet and Cranney basking in their own reflected glory...............

It jumps out at you. 6 photos of the  botox-damaged Dear Leader over 5 pages and bankruptcy-blighted  Cranney  features thrice.

  Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.