Deep Joy, it’s finally arrived...

[Inspector Knacker]

There it was on the doormat , the collected 'thoughts' of Comrade Cranney and why he should be MP.
A few of the highlights are.....

'WE NEED A LOCAL PERSON NOT A CAREER POLITICIAN OR A CHANCER PARACHUTED IN.
Well where do you start? Isn't Kevin a 'career politician' in local politics and as for a 'chancer parachuted in' has he been taking parachute lessons....?

'FOR TOO LONG WE HAVE BEEN IGNORED BY THE GOVERNMENT BUT ALSO BY OUR MP's WHO DISAPPEAR INTO THE WESTMINSTER BUBBLE FORGETTING THE TOWN AND IT'S RESIDENTS'.
I don't know if you realise Kevin, but till last year they were YOUR MP's, your Labour MP's who YOU supported.  Funnily enough I don't recall you complaining about them then....?

KEV'S CLOSING LINE OF HIS ADDRESS TO THE NATION....' I AM EXPERIENCED IN DEALING WITH BUREAUCRATS AND ABOVE ALL I AM A HARTLEPUDLIAN
Kev, my dogs a HARTLEPUDLIAN but it won't improve his chances of being elected as MP for the town. However, young 'Gnasher' is now seriously considering standing, as your entry into the race means he's guaranteed not to come last!

'AS DEPUTY LEADER I SUPPORTED AND PROMOTED THE TOWN NOT ONLY AT A SUB REGIONAL LEVEL BUT REGIONAL AND NATIONAL LEVEL'
Aaah, it all makes sense now, they met you. Once.

'I HAVE LIVED IN HARTLEPOOL ALL MY LIFE AND SEEN THE SLOW EROSION OF A ONCE VIBRANT HARD WORKING TOWN.'
Whoa Kev, you and your chums have been running the town till last year for quite a few years, Explain that!

'THE HARTLEPOOL LABOUR MP HAS LET US DOWN ON BREXIT. REGULARLY VOTING AGAINST THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE'.
Now would that be the Labour MP you supported at the last election apparently enthusiastically?

COMEDY GOLD.

[Lucy Lass-Tick]

I nearly dropped my dinner on the cat, reading that ....

[Inspector Knacker]

I nearly dropped my dinner on the cat, reading that ....

Young 'Gnasher' is furiously filling in his application form for the 'Tripe and Marrowbone Jelly Party', now he's assured of not finishing last.

[Lucy Lass-Tick]

I nearly dropped my dinner on the cat, reading that ....

Young 'Gnasher' is furiously filling in his application form for the 'Tripe and Marrowbone Jelly Party', now he's assured of not finishing last.

He'd be barking mad not to ...

[fred c]

Cranney standing is another act of petty spite by the SLP, they are hoping to take a few votes away from the labmob and nothing more.

The bloke is a total embarrassment to the town, he has played the social, community, charity sector for years and not one of the labmob had the plums to confront him about his behaviour, in fact they compounded it......And there are still people connected to the Hartlepool labour party who supported the decisions made by the leadership.

[mk1]

He'd be barking mad not to ...

Albert agrees...........

[diSme]

The bloke is an absolute tool, putting it mildly.

I haven't received a love letter from him as yet, but your breakdown of it pretty much sums it up perfectly.

[Inspector Knacker]

What gets me is the utter stupidity of it. Do they actually think we're so dumb as not to relate one with the other. The SLP politburo may well have collectively had their memories chemically scrubbed, but we haven't.
You can't easily forget leadership of that calibre, even though you'd like to.

[kevplumb]

What gets me is the utter stupidity of it. Do they actually think we're so dumb as not to relate one with the other. The SLP politburo may well have collectively had their memories chemically scrubbed, but we haven't.
You can't easily forget leadership of that caliber, even though you'd like to.

my sentiments exactly 

[Land Phil]

I can't quite figure ou who he would be stealing votes from if he does get any.

[Inspector Knacker]

I can only see him getting them off confused Labour voters in his old wards. A spanner in the works out of spite?

[diSme]

Unfortunately, there are probably a handful of idiots who will vote for him

[kevplumb]

Unfortunately, there are probably a handful of idiots who will vote for him

yup and most of them will be related to him 

[Inspector Knacker]

Not so much a gene pool more a ten old day tank of panackalty.