Her Margesty

[mk1]

Walking up Victoria Road just after 7 saw a van parked part on the crossing markings, part on the double yellow lines and part on the pavement with its engine running. As I got level with it the door into the Civic crashed open and a hatchet-faced harridan burst forth. I quickly covered my recently purchased milk (didn't want it to curdle) and bowed and scraped as Mad Dog flounced down the steps in front of me and took a seat in her carriage.
Well it's something to tell the grand-kids innit!

[Inspector Knacker]

Did the 'harridan' climb in the back of the van?

[Johnny Bongo]

I've seen that van when I've 'visited' the Burn Road tip.  On the side of it is written 'Animals in Transit'.  I've often thought that it was used mainly for 'problem' dogs.  Seems like I was correct!    

[mk1]

Did the 'harridan' climb in the back of the van?

She heaved her ample rear into the front passenger seat. Not quite sure what happened as she stretched to get in but I am sure I detected a stifled 'lâcher un pet' and several ping-pong balls went rolling into the road.

One for Ripleys methinks!

[Johnny Bongo]

Did the 'harridan' climb in the back of the van?

She heaved her ample rear into the front passenger seat. Not quite sure what happened as she stretched to get in but I am sure I detected a stifled 'lâcher un pet' and several ping-pong balls went rolling into the road.

One for Ripleys methinks!

Even Ripleys would find it hard to publish that description!