'UKIP Hartlepool's' letter to Theresa May . . .

[DRiddle]

Like many people connected with this site, I get sent a lot of 'stuff'. E-mails, letters, hand written notes pushed through my door, tip offs etc. The following is one of my favourites. I'm assuming it's a spoof, but then in the world of local politics in Hartlepool it's often hard to tell...

Dear Theresa,

We are writing to thank you. A little while ago we intended to send you a letter to encourage you to speed up Britain's withdrawal from the EU. However, after a few articulation issues within our own local council, we decided against it. But, low and behold, a few days later, without any prompting from us, you announced the time frame for a 'hard Brexit'.

We at Hartlepool UKIP would like to shake you by the hand.

Granted, there are some who would argue that since your announcement the value of the pound has tanked to levels not seen since 1985, but here at Hartlepool UKIP we're confident that's little more than a coincidence.

In fact, despite a leaked report from some of the countries' leading economists which suggests a 'hard brexit' could cost the UK economy £66 billion pounds a year, our leader Jonathan Tennant is adamant that Gregg's steak bakes cost exactly the same now as they did before the referendum.

So really, it's all a matter of opinions.

We fully support you in your implementation of a 'hard Brexit'. We don't have any time for any of this namby-pamby 'soft Brexit' s**t. We at UKIP Hartlepool are insisting on a very specific vision of Brexit, largely one which we've thrown together in our heads after absorbing everything ever said by Nigel Farage and The Daily Mail.

There are many who might point to Brexit costing Britain money amounting to almost 10% of our entire GDP every year for up to a decade, but that has to be offset against the fact that very soon we'll be able to have gollywogs back on jars of marmalade, without being called racists.

So essentially it's really a case of what you lose on the swings you gain on the roundabouts.

Anyway, this whole issue isn't about money. It's about taking back control of our country, you know, from the foreigners, and if our country is economically f**ked back to the Stone Age to achieve that, that's a price we here at Hartlepool UKIP are prepared to pay.

So thanks again.

None of us are planning on going on holiday anytime soon, so the fact that the pound is worth about as much as a bottle top against the Euro doesn't matter at all to us.

The main thing is, old George can now happily eat a banana with a curvature of well beyond 45 degrees and order his prunes in pounds and ounces rather than kilos.

Thanks again Terry, God Bless you and God save the Queen.

Love

Hartlepool UKIP

P.S

Godfrey Bloom sends his love; his exact words were "Love the Kitten Heels... sugar tits".

P.P.S They don't like it up 'em.