Yes Minister

[Jeff]

Can just imagine the scene in Jeremy Hunt's office.  It would be straight out of 'yes Minister'.
So, tell me about this delegation from Hartlepool, who are they and what do they want?
They are here to save the hospital Minister, they are losing all their services, and their A&E has been closed down.
Ok, fair enough, who are they?
Well Minister, we have MP Iain Wright, he was voted in 10 years ago on a save the Hospital ticket
'10 YEARS!' and he done nothing...Bloody Hell and they still vote him in.
What about the others...?
Well, Minister we have Stephen Akers-Belcher, he is the Mayor of Hartlepool.
Oh Yes I have heard of him, The Monkey Right?
No Minister that was someone else, this is a ceremonial Mayor, but he does have experience in the health sector.
Great a professional...at last, were does he work and what does he do?
Well Minister he was employed for Newcastle City Council but was sacked.......
'SACKED!' What for?
'Gross-misconduct minister'
Bloody hell who else have they sent? Frank Spencer?
No Minister, Christopher Akers Belcher
Who the hell is he, his brother? What's he brought his brother for?
No Minister they are partners, so to speak,
OK, OK, does he have any knowledge of the health sector?
Well yes and no Minister.
Yes and no! what do you mean?
He is manager of HealthWatch Hartlepool
Hmm, he will know his stuff better watch out there.
Well not exactly Minister he has been on the sick for 9  months....
'Bloody hell! Not pregnant is he?
OK,OK, Well we'll see what they have to say, probably not their fault they have lost their services, Ok brief me....... When did they lose their A&E and how....?
Minister, it was voted on by committee in the council
Who the Hell would vote to close their own A&E.
Sir, let me check....aaah , that would be Stephen Akers-Belcher................
I thought you said he wasn't the monkey??!

[Land Phil]

You just know the Mail is going to give them a heroes welcome when they return from London.

Do we still have the open top bus ?

P.S. Was a hospital in the town plan ?

[Inspector Knacker]

I expect them to return and blame the government, basking in the self deluding role of  the plucky defenders of our services against the dastardly tories and milk it dry.
History airbrushed and new bogey man created to catch the publics eye... all very predictable, all very irrelevant.