Gateshead Council Funeral Services

[jeffh]

Watching tonight's local news, Gateshead Council is going to set up it's own Funeral Service.  Let's hope our council doesn't have similar aspirations otherwise we'll be paying for another Cafe in the Crem.  It may be a little venture that the boy in a man's body may want to dabble in with competitively priced catering and a game of the bingo for the wake.

[WhatTheHeck]

He could call it ' The Crem In My Cafe '.

[Inspector Knacker]

I can just see it.

Dear Sir,

I wish to bring to your attention my displeasure at your handling of my late husbands funeral.
I would like to know why the colour of coffin was changed from pine to dark oak and the lining from white linen to black satin on the advice of your design consultant who apparently had a 'wobbly'.
The substitution of the hearse for a street lighting cherry picker suitably adapted with black tape on the bumper and the use of the school bus for the mourners only added to the distress.
The floral tributes added even further distress consisting of wild flowers after we specifically ordered roses, his favourite flower, which he grew all his life and as we specifically informed you.
I cannot even bring myself to mention the name of the venue for post funeral refreshments but 'Big Boy Burgers and bingo where the final straw.
Never again, my solicitors will be in touch!

[WhatTheHeck]

I can just see it.

Dear Sir,

I wish to bring to your attention my displeasure at your handling of my late husbands funeral.
I would like to know why the colour of coffin was changed from pine to dark oak and the lining from white linen to black satin on the advice of your design consultant who apparently had a 'wobbly'.
The substitution of the hearse for a street lighting cherry picker suitably adapted with black tape on the bumper and the use of the school bus for the mourners only added to the distress.
The floral tributes added even further distress consisting of wild flowers after we specifically ordered roses, his favourite flower, which he grew all his life and as we specifically informed you.
I cannot even bring myself to mention the name of the venue for post funeral refreshments but 'Big Boy Burgers and bingo where the final straw.
Never again, my solicitors will be in touch!

He would probably employ a 'Barista' to give legal advice to grieving relatives in relation to wills and probate matters !